On June 1st it was 17 years ago that my DH and I went on our first date. I have officially now known him half of my life. Amazing how fast time goes. That night this handsome, confident, young man of 19 picked me up at my grandparents house. My grandma’s dog proceeded to pee on him in excitement at the door. Ahh that poor guy. He shrugged it off though and politely met the whole family. After the introductions we headed out for dinner at a local Italian restaurant. We sat at our table for two in the dim candlelight. Taking in each other’s looks, sharing smiles and laughs…it was love at first sight. Conversation was easy over dinner. It was as if we’d always known each other. It was a perfect fit that was designed by God himself…of that we have no doubt.

Today we celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. We tried to get our wedding date as close to our first date’s date as we could. Reason being we’ve always felt our deep love started on June 1, 1991. My DH would later tell me he knew that night he would marry me. I think that is so romantic. Yes we were young and we heard that plenty as we were planning our wedding. We didn’t care what any naysayers said. For us we just knew it was right. God put us on this earth to be together. It was by His great design that we married when I was 19 and DH 21. Why so young never entered our minds then and 15 years later it still doesn’t. God knows and for us that is all that matters.

We were thrilled to get married. To be together. To share life – together. We are not one of those couples that can’t stand being together after a week. In fact we often miss one another’s company when he heads off back to work. Don’t get me wrong we enjoy time apart too…and we can kick up a good argument…but the majority of the time we love to be with one another.

My DH has a heart of gold that desires to provide for his wife and children. I couldn’t have asked for a more loving, caring and hard working husband. He dotes on me, loves all my flaws, supports me in all I do. He loves our children with every fiber of his being.

God so richly blessed me with this man. How I love him more with every day.

We celebrated our anniversary by going to Puerto Rico in April. This is one of my favorite pictures from our resort. That is my amazing blessing from God standing in the warm ocean waves. God painted the sky with the most brilliant of sunsets we’ve ever seen our last night there. Maybe it was the magic of our island paradise, maybe it was because this was our first trip without the children but we left part of our hearts on that beautiful little island. It was such a special time together. We saw God in His awesome glory through crashing waves on a starry night, deep teal waters, golden sunsets on the beach, long walks and quiet moments in each other’s eyes. We connected in a new way that week. God took the love in our marriage and deepened it even further. He opened ours hearts and filled them to overflowing. I am forever amazed and humbled at the boundless love our Heavenly Father has for us.

To my Darling Husband, I love you always and forever. Thank you for loving me in and through it all. I am so blessed to be loved by you.

There is a song by Point of Grace called “Circle of Friends”. I love this song. It so beautifully conveys what I’m feeling right now. Here are the lyrics. I will follow the lyrics with my commentary.

We were made to love and be loved
But the price this world demands
Will cost you far too much
I spent so many lonely years
Just trying to fit in
Now I’ve found a place in this circle of friends

In a circle of friends
We have one Father
In a circle of friends
We share this prayer
That every orphaned soul will know
And all will enter in
To the shelter of this circle of friends

If you weep, I will weep with you
If you sing for joy
The rest of us will lift our voices too
But no matter what you feel inside
There’s no need to pretend
That’s the way it is in this circle of friends

In a circle of friends
We have one father
In a circle of friends
We share this prayer
That’s we’ll gather together
No matter how the highway bends
I will not lose this circle of friends

Among the nations, tribes and tongues
We have sisters and brothers
And when we meet in heaven
We will recognize each other
With joy so deep
And love so sweet
Oh, we’ll celebrate these friends
And a life that never ends

In a circle of friends
We have one Father
In a circle of friends
We share this prayer
That it will not be long before
All will enter in
To the shelter of this circle of friends
That it will not be long before
All will enter in
To the shelter of this circle of friends

Me again.
I have debated sharing this message because it is so deeply personal. What would my fellow church members think of this entry? Then I decided that the best way to be a part of a church is to openly share. It goes to breaking down that “Stained Glass Masquerade“. How can we help another if we do not share our own pains and our mistakes? It is through openly sharing that we break down the walls around us and learn to live freely in Christ. So here goes…

The Lord has been showing me so very clearly how important a circle of friends is in my life. I am a part of a beautiful church community that truly cares about each other. There is no denying the genuine love there. I had allowed the enemy to pull me away from it for a time though. I listened to his schemes and was pulled away from those that love me (and my little family). Thankfully the Lord pulled harder and brought us back to this wonderful church.

It is the circle of friends that is undeniably the reason He wants us in this church. To fellowship with like minded believers.

As the song lyrics said I spent so many years trying to fit in. Everywhere I’ve been in life I’ve often felt on the outside of everything. I’ve never felt like I fit in anywhere. Ever. Unfortunately, I often came across as being shy, rude or unsocial. Although it couldn’t be farther from the truth. I love to be a part of life…just never knew how to join in. When it came to participating in things I often didn’t because I felt so outside the loop that it made me uncomfortable. It was a lonely place to be. The Lord has shown me though that what I was trying to be a part of never fit because it wasn’t supposed to fit. It was the world I was trying to be a part of and that wasn’t where He wanted me. He had something better for me. Going through the rejection was part of the trial. In dealing with the pain I am able to truly appreciate the gift He then gave me.

The gift was this circle of friends.

I found the first link in this absolutely wonderful, loving, beautiful creation – my dear best friend. She is a woman above women and I know she often doesn’t see it in herself. But I do and so does everyone around her. God created her for this time and place. He has a special plan for you sweetie! I know the part you’ve played in my life has been huge. I could not have been blessed with a better friend than you. As I’ve told you before you are the sister of my heart. I so cherish the thought that we get to always be together…for all eternity we can share that cup of tea we both love so much.

Another link came in the form of vibrant sermons that challenged my intellectual side. I love a sermon that forces me to go home and study more. Nothing worse than a sermon that goes in one ear and out the other. Our Pastor challenges me to dig deeper, to study more and be who God made me to be. I am better for having his leadership in my life.

Then I found these beautiful smiling faces on Sunday mornings that said, “We’ve missed you” and “It’s so good to have you back with us”. They genuinely cared and genuinely noticed my absence. Something I didn’t think would be the case since I always felt I blended into the woodwork. Another link was formed.

The final link in the circle is my bible study group. This group of women are so precious, so genuine. I love to sit back and listen, really listen, to their life stories. There is so much to learn from each one of these sisters. And they are my sisters because I feel my heart connect with each one of them in unique and special ways every time we meet. I think of them and pray for them often. They come to my thoughts in the middle of my day and I know it’s the Holy Spirit lifting them up by having me pray for them. What an honor that is! To be able to give into their day and they don’t even know it gives me such joy. These women hold such a special place in my heart. As we share our time each week in study I silently thank God for each of them. They have challenged me to step out of my shell. To find the real me within. They don’t know it but in different ways they have each helped me to become a stronger woman for Christ.

It was through these links that I found my true circle of friends. Honestly I would like to say my circle of family. I no longer feel lonely. I no longer feel unworthy. I am working on now reaching out more to this new circle of family/friends. I had built a rather large wall to try to keep myself from being hurt. The Lord has really been showing me in big ways that this family, this circle of friends are genuine. They are not going to hurt me and past hurts were taken to the cross. I can live free if I so choose to. I can live free if I let my past die and choose to live in the here and now.

To my circle…I thank you for being a beacon of Christ’s love to me. I really don’t think you’ll ever know how you helped this bruised soul. To quote the song one final time, “We were made to love and be loved”…I love you all dearly.

My Pastor shared on his blog a sweet story with his then three year old DD. I liked the idea of sharing a story too. Now this takes place 5 1/2 years ago. My DH had just lost his job and things were very rough for us. My DH was having difficulty finding a new job in his field. My DS had just turned 5 years old.

DS: Dad who do you work for now?

DH: I work for the Lord son.

DS: That’s a good person to work for.

DH: Yes son He’s the ONLY one to truly work for.

DS: God offers good benefits too, huh?

DH: Oh son there isn’t a better benefits package to be had anywhere on earth.

DS: I’m going to work for the Lord then too! Cuz’ I want to work with you Dad and have good benefits. I’ll need them for my wife and six kids.

What can you say to a 5 year old that is already looking for a good job with benefits to support his wife and children?! I’ll never forget that most precious moment. Children are such a joy and treasure from the Lord. They get us to stop and look at life differently. Which I do believe is God’s plan.