As I ponder the changes facing me I keep being asked by everyone around me, “What is my passion?”. I have to admit I was left speechless at the question. All I can think is, wait do I have any passion?

I’ve been a wife for eighteen years and SAHM off and on for sixteen years. There is nothing I love more than those two jobs. But are they my passion?

I’m sure someone could say the Lord should be your passion. And I would tend to say I would agree with that statement. However for some time now in my life I honestly can’t say if even He is my passion. Please don’t berate me for that comment it is just pure honesty. And the only way to work through something is to be honest with yourself (and those you share with).

So if even my Lord, that I love deeply, isn’t my passion you must be thinking this gal is lost. And you would be right. I have lost my way. Many of life’s struggles have really ground me to a pulp. I have felt broken for far too long. I am working through much of these mental torments with the Lord’s help. And I do believe because of His leading I am now being faced with this question…what is your passion? I do believe He is asking me to dig in and find that feisty, confident woman He created. She is there under the rubble, she just needs a reason, a passion, to come back for.

I decided to google passion to see what other people had to say on the subject. I came across this interesting movie quote…

“You know the Greeks didn’t write obituaries, they only asked one question after a man died, ‘Did he have passion?’” — from: Serendipity (2001)

Passion has been important since our earliest days. Passion is what fuels us and drives us to pursue new adventures, changes and relationships. After we are gone it will not matter what we owned or how famous we were. What will matter is how did this person live the life given her? Did she love every moment and live even in the sorrowful moments with peace and joy? Did she leave behind objects or people who love her deeply? Did she live to the fullest and without any regret? Will she be remembered for the love she gave and the hope she shared? Did she ignite passion for living in others? By igniting passion for living in others you leave behind a legacy that will span generations and time. That is the kind of impact we want to leave on this world.

In my google searches I happened upon a wonderful website called Blogging with Amy. The article I found is called How to Find Your Passion. She is referring to blogging not life however it hit a particular chord with me. I have been feeling the Lord wanting me back on this blog. I have to admit I wasn’t entirely thrilled at the idea of blogging when I first started this blog almost four years ago. I opened it at His leading but really haven’t given it the attention I think He intended. I have come and gone from it many times. I just haven’t been able to put my whole heart into it because I keep thinking what do I really have to offer anyone? What I was missing though was it isn’t about what “I” need to share but what “He” wants to share through me. (light bulb moment!) I can’t help but wonder where this blog would be if I had listened and not fought it. I can’t help but wonder where I personally would be. Did He intend for me to seek out my passion through blogging? More importantly did He intend for me to seek HIM out through blogging?

So through all this can I say I found my passion? Well yes and no. What I’ve learned is that passion is something that we have to seek out continually because life is ever changing. What gave me passion five years ago won’t necessarily today. Passion is seeking out the pursuit of LIVING. In whatever way brings you joy, hope, love and peace. Have I found a renewed passion for God? Most assuredly YES! I think I just compartmentalized Him along with all the other pains and obligations. I’ve let too much of life get away from me. So while I don’t have a particular passion I am pursuing now I am in hot pursuit of whatever is next in this life. I have found renewed zest for living. I suppose some could say that is passion…hmm…

I am going to get this blog back up and going. I’m curious to see what He wants to do with it. He had a purpose for it 1/1/2008 and I’ve not given it the consideration it deserved. I have felt Him lead me back here so many times. I just kept listening to the enemy’s whispers of doubt. I may be completely uncomfortable sharing my writings but God often asks us to do uncomfortable things for a greater good we can’t see. We are all Watercolors in His Masterpiece.

I ask you to please excuse the mess and time it will take to clean up here. This poor blog is in sad shape. I probably won’t actually blog for a little while as I do the backend work. I think I’m going to move this to WordPress too. I pray you will join me along the journey as I learn what He has in store for this blog. I will always be growing and learning until I breathe my last breath. Thankfully He will always be there leading my way. And now you know how the name of this blog came about…I will forever be Growing in the Son.