God’s Word For Today is one of my favorite online daily devotionals. This one is convicting to me as I have felt lacking in this area lately. I felt God was speaking to me thru the use of the branches example. He has used this repeatedly to speak to me throughout my walk.

He wants us connected to Him…always. He will never stop reaching out to us. We just need to reach back and one way is daily reading of His Word. If you feel lacking in this area too will you commit with me to making it first priority in the day?

Connected to the Source
Read Psalms 1:1 through 2:12

All Christians face storms. If Christians are to be victorious, why is it that many come out of a storm broken? This brokenness shows up as bitterness, fear, or broken relationships. How can a Christian safeguard his or her life from destruction?

An ice storm wreaked havoc across Missouri in January 2007. The weight of the ice broke branches off trees that had survived storms for decades. Towns looked like war zones, with debris everywhere. Why was this ice storm so destructive? The summer before the storm yielded little rain, so the water tables dropped. The lack of water weakened the trees. They were not tapped into the source, making them unable to handle the weight of the ice.

Psalm 1 explains that the Source for a Christian is the Bible—“the law of the Lord” (Psalm 1:2). If a person spends time in the Word, he or she will be connected to the Source. Words of hope, protection, peace, and instruction strengthen the believer. This constant connection produces strong branches that grow fruit and healthy leaves. Instead of broken branches, the Christian will weather the storm and exit victorious.

Challenge for Today: Renew your commitment to read—and study—the Bible every day.
Quicklook: Psalm 1:1–6

“If you don’t let your past die, it won’t let you live.”

I was going through notes on my desk and came across this quote. I had scribbled it on a piece of paper. I do not know where I heard it or even who to credit it to. (If you know who credit is due to please let me know so I can add the author.) What I do know is the Holy Spirit prompted me to share this message here.

How true that if you let your past control your present circumstances you can’t truly live life to the fullest. What joy is there in living in the past? What joy is there in reliving past experiences that you CANNOT change? I’ll tell you…none. There is no joy in it because it is not how God intends for us to live. That is why we are to ask forgiveness for our sins and do as God does…forget it and move on. We can only make amends for our mistakes and then keep moving forward. Learn from the mistakes but do not live IN them.

As many people do, I have a past that is definitely full of severe traumas and pains. I could so easily choose to live in that. I could wake up each day feeling I’m “justified” to keep reliving that pain. However I choose not to do that. I choose each morning to leave all that junk in the past because that’s what it is to me. Gone. Done. Over. It shaped who I am today but it does not have any control over shaping my today. Stop and think about that for a minute. It’s a wordy sentence but really think about it. The reason it has no control is because I give it none. We each have a choice in whether we live in the past or the present.

When I chose to follow Christ I was born again. I was renewed in and through Him. My past became my old life, old blood. With Christ I am a new creation with the blood of Christ running through my veins. I am His. I walk each day in the light of His truth. I wake each day to the joy of a new day with Him. New adventures, new struggles, new everything.

Is that not the lesson of the cross? Christ went to the cross so that we may be free to be new again. That we may LIVE. How sad must He be when we choose to hold onto our past. When we do not choose the new day with Him. When we instead choose to listen to the lies of the enemy who would love nothing better than for us to keep reliving the past. Beloved, it does not have to be that way! He died on that rugged tree so that we don’t have to. When we live in our past we die needlessly on our own trees every day. That is just a slap in the face to our precious Savior. Take your past to His feet and leave it there. Do not pick it back up! Walk away renewed in the knowledge that He set you free from that past and you never have to live in it again.

Each day is a new day to be shaped by the Master’s hand not by our past. Let your past die and you can then LIVE in the present WITH Him.

(Sidenote: I wrote this about three years ago but decided to refresh it and use it as my entrance back into posting. It is one of my favorite pieces.)

There is something so thrilling about opening a new set of watercolors. Each color is beautiful, neatly in it’s own little oval, full of possibilities. It’s hard to add the water because you know that perfect little oval will forever be changed. Instead of it’s neat appearance suddenly it appears to be a mess. The thought of messing up those ovals causes some people to just close the set and wait until another time to use those beautiful paints. The sad thing is if water is never added then each of those precious ovals can only exist, useless in that closed box. There is no way the watercolor can be a part of the masterpiece that it was intended for unless the box is opened and water is added.

Our lives are much like that watercolor set. We feel we are perfect just the way we are and don’t want to change. We like our little ovals just the way they are. We don’t want to be messed with or to look messy to the world. We want to remain closed off to being used by our local church. We’re too busy we say. Someone else will do it we say. The problem is we were each given gifts for a time and a purpose. Just like that watercolor set has a purpose to paint a picture…we have a purpose in where we are in our life. It is only when we open the watercolor set of our heart and let the Living Waters flow over us that our true beauty gets to shine bright and vibrant. We were not meant to stay in our perfect little ovals never being used. God created each of us with amazing colors that have a place in His Beautiful Masterpiece. Instead of being afraid of the changes living for God requires we need to embrace them. Is it hard? Yes. Will there be pains and tears? Most definitely yes. Our Heavenly Father promises that He will care for us and wipe away all our tears though.

Revelation 7:17 – “For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.”

So beloved one do not be afraid of His Living Waters flowing over your watercolors. God is there to take away that fear from you. To give you an abundant and eternal life in Him. I would encourage you today to open the watercolors of your heart and let God use you in His Beautiful Masterpiece. True you will never be the same. True you may appear different to the world. True dipping the water in that first color is hard. However I promise once you see how important your watercolors are in the Painter’s Masterpiece you will wonder why you waited so long to dip in!

Prayer: Lord, please forgive me for keeping my watercolor box closed. I ask you today to use my watercolors for your purpose. Flow over me your Living Waters. I want to be a part of your Beautiful Masterpiece! In Jesus’ Precious Name I Pray. Amen.

I now have all my posts here on WordPress. I’m so glad I made the move. I really like the way WordPress works and so far it has all been good. Blogger was good for a time but really now I’m wondering why I waited. LOL

My design is simple for now. I hope in the future to get a professional design done. Now that I’m a SAHM again (Thank You Lord!) finances are much more limited. That is ok though. In the last almost three months since quitting the job I have never felt so at peace. This is where I am supposed to be. My whole household is more at peace. I feel some regret that my chasing after more money cost us all over a year of living peacefully. You know the saying that a mother leads her household’s emotions and schedule? Well I can say without a doubt it is very, very true. I have seen first hand the difference. So now I am taking the lessons learned from the last year and acting on them. One lesson I learned is I can’t hold onto the past. So that means I can’t hold onto the regret I just mentioned. Ahem. *wink*

Moving right along…
Working on the backend of the blog has been fun. Reading old posts and seeing where life has taken me has been interesting. I am now excited about moving this blog forward. I have dare I say it, passion, for the idea of what this blog could be. I look forward to my time each day to work here. I never felt that way in the past about this blog. Yes God is doing a work in my heart and life. I am viewing so many things differently and I feel so much more joy in living. God is good. So very, very good.

So although I will keep making some more changes to the blog (does work on a blog every truly end?! lol) I am ready to start posting again. Look for a new post in the next couple days!

As I ponder the changes facing me I keep being asked by everyone around me, “What is my passion?”. I have to admit I was left speechless at the question. All I can think is, wait do I have any passion?

I’ve been a wife for eighteen years and SAHM off and on for sixteen years. There is nothing I love more than those two jobs. But are they my passion?

I’m sure someone could say the Lord should be your passion. And I would tend to say I would agree with that statement. However for some time now in my life I honestly can’t say if even He is my passion. Please don’t berate me for that comment it is just pure honesty. And the only way to work through something is to be honest with yourself (and those you share with).

So if even my Lord, that I love deeply, isn’t my passion you must be thinking this gal is lost. And you would be right. I have lost my way. Many of life’s struggles have really ground me to a pulp. I have felt broken for far too long. I am working through much of these mental torments with the Lord’s help. And I do believe because of His leading I am now being faced with this question…what is your passion? I do believe He is asking me to dig in and find that feisty, confident woman He created. She is there under the rubble, she just needs a reason, a passion, to come back for.

I decided to google passion to see what other people had to say on the subject. I came across this interesting movie quote…

“You know the Greeks didn’t write obituaries, they only asked one question after a man died, ‘Did he have passion?’” — from: Serendipity (2001)

Passion has been important since our earliest days. Passion is what fuels us and drives us to pursue new adventures, changes and relationships. After we are gone it will not matter what we owned or how famous we were. What will matter is how did this person live the life given her? Did she love every moment and live even in the sorrowful moments with peace and joy? Did she leave behind objects or people who love her deeply? Did she live to the fullest and without any regret? Will she be remembered for the love she gave and the hope she shared? Did she ignite passion for living in others? By igniting passion for living in others you leave behind a legacy that will span generations and time. That is the kind of impact we want to leave on this world.

In my google searches I happened upon a wonderful website called Blogging with Amy. The article I found is called How to Find Your Passion. She is referring to blogging not life however it hit a particular chord with me. I have been feeling the Lord wanting me back on this blog. I have to admit I wasn’t entirely thrilled at the idea of blogging when I first started this blog almost four years ago. I opened it at His leading but really haven’t given it the attention I think He intended. I have come and gone from it many times. I just haven’t been able to put my whole heart into it because I keep thinking what do I really have to offer anyone? What I was missing though was it isn’t about what “I” need to share but what “He” wants to share through me. (light bulb moment!) I can’t help but wonder where this blog would be if I had listened and not fought it. I can’t help but wonder where I personally would be. Did He intend for me to seek out my passion through blogging? More importantly did He intend for me to seek HIM out through blogging?

So through all this can I say I found my passion? Well yes and no. What I’ve learned is that passion is something that we have to seek out continually because life is ever changing. What gave me passion five years ago won’t necessarily today. Passion is seeking out the pursuit of LIVING. In whatever way brings you joy, hope, love and peace. Have I found a renewed passion for God? Most assuredly YES! I think I just compartmentalized Him along with all the other pains and obligations. I’ve let too much of life get away from me. So while I don’t have a particular passion I am pursuing now I am in hot pursuit of whatever is next in this life. I have found renewed zest for living. I suppose some could say that is passion…hmm…

I am going to get this blog back up and going. I’m curious to see what He wants to do with it. He had a purpose for it 1/1/2008 and I’ve not given it the consideration it deserved. I have felt Him lead me back here so many times. I just kept listening to the enemy’s whispers of doubt. I may be completely uncomfortable sharing my writings but God often asks us to do uncomfortable things for a greater good we can’t see. We are all Watercolors in His Masterpiece.

I ask you to please excuse the mess and time it will take to clean up here. This poor blog is in sad shape. I probably won’t actually blog for a little while as I do the backend work. I think I’m going to move this to WordPress too. I pray you will join me along the journey as I learn what He has in store for this blog. I will always be growing and learning until I breathe my last breath. Thankfully He will always be there leading my way. And now you know how the name of this blog came about…I will forever be Growing in the Son.

Lord there is just so much noise in my head. I just can’t ever seem to get ahead of it. It is always there taunting me, heckling me, draining my energy and sucking the life out of me. How do I separate my mind from it? I know some noise is necessary. Work, children, family obligations are all necessary. But it is also overwhelming. Then there is the enemy’s noise. He is merciless Lord and wears me down.

Then He whispers to me…
“Spend time with me child. Spend time with ME.”

Lord I’m just so stressed out by all that is going on in life right now! I am running in so many directions and I’m so tired all the time. I barely get a shower some days let alone quiet time with you. And Lord you know my heart is not in this job, I want to be back home being a homemaker again.

Then He whispers to me…
“I never wanted you to take that job. You didn’t trust me to provide. I’ve kept you in this job to teach you. Have you learned through this experience? I know you have grown. I’ve watched you with great joy blossoming.”

Yes Lord I have learned a lot. Some very hard lessons but ones that will stick with me. Will you let me out of this job now Lord? Please I want to be back home where my heart really is. I want the constant noise to stop.

Then He whispers to me…
“The noise will stop when you start listening to my gentle whispers. Spend time with me and I will lead you. You have pushed me away and I have missed you. I have put the path in motion to end the job and bring you back home. Listen to those hard lessons and know I will always provide. Always! Now let’s try not to do this the hard way again, ok? I love you child but sometimes you can be so stubborn.”

(Laughing) Lord I love you so!

I have been away from my blog for a long time now.  It’s one of those things that comes and goes in my life.  I find times when I want to do it all the time and then those times I don’t think of it for weeks (or months).  Isn’t that true for so many things in life.  We get all excited about a new project throw ourselves into it full steam ahead and then half way through the steam is gone.  Along with any interest of finishing it.  I have to wonder did God design us this way or is it the world around us? 

If it is the world around us that would make sense.  It is an instant gratification society.  Microwave mentality as I like to call it.  We want it now and now only.  If we have to wait very long we just move onto the next thing. 

If it is God’s design then…

Well it’s time for me to start making dinner…

I’m just joking. 

It’s a tough question worth thinking on.  If we are all created in His image and this particular issue affects so many of us…is it by His design that we are this way?  Does it have purpose in our lives?  Maybe it gives us the ability to move on when we have to say goodbye to a loved one who has passed. Or it helps us to make changes that are often necessary in life.

I’m not really sure of the answer just thinking out loud. It is an area of my life I am looking more closely at right now as I am looking to make some big changes. I think He’s leading me in a new direction and one I’m not entirely comfortable in. Please say a prayer for me if you would. I want to be sure that I’m making these changes because He is the one leading me and not my need for something new leading me.

No I haven’t been around here much to really say Happy Blogiversary to me. I always promised myself I would blog with “No Obligations” so that’s what I’m going to stick to. It’s been three years and a lot has happened in life in that time. Much of it gave me little time for my family let alone blogging. Who knows what a new year will hold though! There is always the excitement of what a new year can be.

CASTING CROWNS
“Set Me Free”

It hasn’t always been this way
I remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
Wrapped my soul in chains

Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away

Set me free of the chains holding me
Is anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free

Morning breaks another day
Finds me crying in the rain
All alone with my demons I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek
They scream His name
Is this the One they say will set the captives free?
Jesus, rescue me

As the God man passes by
He looks straight through my eyes
And darkness cannot hide

Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains
I hold the key
All power on Heav’n and Earth belong to me

You are free
You are free
You are free

We all have something we need to be set free from. Whether it be alcoholism or drugs, obesity or anorexia, debt or lust…it’s all bondage. Bondage that Jesus died on the cross to break us free from. Lift your chains to HIM who holds the KEY.

There are so many temptations, fears and sins that pull us away from the one who loves us more than we could ever imagine. Even when we can no longer fight HE never stops fighting for us. NEVER.

I have seen this video several times over the years and it still never fails to make me cry. To think that no matter what happens in my life He is always there fills me with such joy.

Thank you my precious Savior. How I love you!